Entering the realms of parenthood can be a lot like stumbling into an alternate reality, where what once was seems almost alien & a little daunting. You will probably find yourself reevaluating your priorities and life choices & you will start to recognise the signs of a person who does not have children to those who do & you will be drawn to more to the later. I used to be so irritated by parents saying ‘it’s different when you have kids’ I hated the presumption that i knew nothing. But i really didn’t know anything. How could i? Parenthood really is nothing like i had imagined it to be. Not because it is tough & tiring ( i was expecting that) but because It changes you as a person in a way you could never imagine & It is amazing. You will learn more from your tiny human than any teacher, book or episode of QI has ever taught you. You will learn how to deal with situations better, you will appreciate time & people more and you will love more deeply than you ever even could have before. Well that’s how it was for me anyway!
Personally i found pregnancy and child-birth quite a traumatic experience and i think most others do too, but it is one of those taboo things that are not spoken of. I think this must be why mothers are drawn to other mothers and why fathers are interested in talking with other mothers as they can appreciate what they went through. So finding someone who knows the emotional and physical challenges you went through is really comforting & thus they become the people you need over others.
As a new mum your head is on overdrive trying to keep everything running smoothly while managing maternity pay and praying it covers costs. This is one of the many reasons why it is important for new mum’s to be looked after by the more experienced ones. For me this was my friend Kirsty. She passed on so many baby bits for my daughter, she arranged my baby shower, she really was my pregnancy Yoda. I remember saying to her i was forever indebted to her for her kindness and she told me that when she was pregnant she was told that it was like a pay it forward type deal. That you were looked after in the early days and then would get to pay it forwards to another new mum later when your friends have children. How amazing is that thought? If all new parents followed this rule no new mother would be without support. Kirsty is now BabyBlu’s guidemother and i have no regrets in my choice, she really is an amazing support and i honestly don’t know where i would be without it. She is now expecting her second tiny human (this is her expression, that i may have adopted) and i hope i can now repay some of the kindness she bestowed upon me a year ago. It’s my turn to pay it forwards.
I hope that all mummy’s and daddy’s do adopt this pay it forward attitude as it was such a comfort to me. The world needs love and right here is a way we can share it & do something amazing for someone else. I hope some of you reading this can take this on board and will do your best to help.